Promise me
by AlexxPiper
Summary: AU/ Piper and Alex are together for a while now. Alex was always the one to comfort Piper, but something happened a few weeks ago which involved Alex. Alex' behaviour causes Piper to think Alex relapsed in her old habits again. She feels the need to help her, but she doesn't know how. / I'm really bad at summaries but please just give it a chance? lol.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Hey guys! I have read lots of Vauseman fanfics and now I decided to write one my own! I am really sorry if my English isn't right sometimes; it's not my native language (but I guess there aren't lots of Dutch people on this site, considering practically everything is English haha).  
It's an AU Vausemen endgame fanfic! **Rated T** , maybe M later but I'm not sure yet.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do NOT own ANY of the characters in this story!

"Al, you really have to eat something"

I shrugged. "Do I?"  
Piper has been overprotective since the incident, two weeks ago. We are together for a while now and we survived a lot of struggles together. Most of the time it was Piper struggling, while I helped her get through it. I don't like sharing my problems, I am used to solve things on my own. But now Piper wants to help me. She thinks she _needs_ to help me.

"Yes, Alex. You really do. You haven't eaten something for like 24 hours. Have you been using drugs? You never eat when you use drugs.."

I felt her hand on my shoulder.  
"Look at me, Al."  
I knew I would break if I would look her in her eyes. I can't lie to those baby blue eyes. I just can't, so I looked at my feet.

"I am just not hungry Pipes. Besides, summer is coming and I want to fit in my bikini" I added the last part chuckling.  
"Oh fuck that, Al. I know you don't care about the bikini. You don't even like swimming."  
Piper knew me too well. I shrugged again.  
"Just leave it, Pipes. I am okay. Besides, I have to go now"  
I stood up and threw the bread Piper made for me in the bin. I knew she was staring at me, her eyes pinned in my back.  
"Where are you going then? Shall I join you?" she asked softly.  
I sighed while leaning on the kitchentable. Why does she have to be so _fucking_ cute? I decide not to answer, considering the fact I might break down in front of her.  
"Alex?"

I walked away to the bedroom, to put on my shoes. She followed me.  
"Alex, please just talk to me. I want to help you, you know. I really care about you and I don't know what to do. Should I call Nicky?" Her voice was shaking, as if she was scared to talk to me. I felt sorry for her, although I knew it was my own fault.  
"Pipes, just don't worry okay? You don't have to call Nicky, you don't have to do anything" I walked towards her, placed my hands on her hips and pulled her against me. "You don't have to do anything, besides from fucking me tonight" I whispered in her ear. I felt her body shiver the moment my breath reached her skin. I know my voice can turn her on amazingly quick.  
Our eyes met eachother and we kissed, untill she pulled back a little. Our forheads still connected and she closed her eyew for a moment, before looking me in the eye.  
"Please just say you are not doing drugs again?" she closed her eyes again.  
"I'm not doing drugs again, Pipes" I lied.  
"Promise? Please promise?"  
I kissed her again and walked away. "I will be home late Pipes, don't wait for me with dinner" I slammed the door behind me and left her alone. As soon as I stood outside, feelings of guilt began to come up. I shivered since I forgot my jacket, so I started walking. When I was sure I was far away from home and Piper wouldn't come and sneak up on me, I reached for my phone in my pocket.

 **Alex: I need some stuff, where can I meet you? - Alex**

I sat down on a bench while waiting for an answer. I noticed my mind slipping into these flashbacks, so I tried to mention all the things around me, as I learned from Nicky. Nicky is an old friend who suffered from a drugs addiction for quite some years. She is clean now and I am amazingly proud of her for that. I wish I could be as brave as she is, but I just feel way to lost for that right now. Especially since two weeks ago, with the whole incident...  
The sound of my phone snapped me out of my thoughst. One new message.

 **Ayden: Meet me in the coffeecorner. - Ayden**

The coffecorner wasn't far from where I was. I stood up while texting him back.

 **Alex: Be there in 5.**

I tried not to think of Piper while walking to the coffeecorner. I have to be in control of myself. I am in control of myself.

 **AN:**

 **Hope you guys liked it! Again, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in there. It's not really long but I just wanted to try and see if it's good enough, you know. If I continue, other chapters will not be this short!  
I will continue if you guys like me to, so leave a comment!**

 **Lots of love, AlexxPiper**


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Thank you guys so much for reading my fanfic! First, I wanted to write from Alex' POV only, but I think it will be easier and more fun to read if I also write from Piper's POV. Hope you guys like it, please leave a comment or something like that!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do not own any of the characters!

 **PIPER'S POV**

When Alex slammed the door behind her, I reached for my phone to call Polly. Polly was my best friend since kindergarten, she always had some advice.

"Hey Pol"  
"Pipes! What's going on?"  
"It's Alex.. she has been acting so weird lately, but she won't tell what it is. I am scared she is using drugs again"  
"Have you called Nicky yet? Nicky has way more knowledge of this things than we do, Pipes. If she is using again, she really needs help. Why do you think she is?"  
"Because.. she disappears a lot lately. Sometimes even in the middel of the night. She doesn't eat and we haven't had sex in two weeks"  
"Since -"

I didn't want her to say it out loud, so I interrupted Polly.

"Yes. But please don't say it out loud, okay? It's a horrible thing"  
"I know, Pipes. I know. You really have to message Nicky, she knows how these things go"  
"Should I ask Alex for permission? I mean, she told me today she didn't want me to contact Nicky about this. I don't want to be the bad guy, Pol"  
"Pipes, you are not the bad guy if you are trying to help her. She will come around eventually. I have to go now, I'm really sorry. Finn is crying and I think I need to feed him."

I chuckle.

"Well, good luck with your little man there. Thanks, Pol. I'm going to contact Nicky"  
"Keep me updated, okay?"  
"Okay. Bye"  
"Bye Pipes"

I hang up and while thinking about what to send to Nicky, I make some lemonade for myself. I emit a deep sigh, but reach for my phone again.

 **Piper: Nick, there is something going on with Al.**

I know I don't have to say what exactly. She knows.  
I hessitate for a second, but send the message anyway. It's not long before I receive an answer.

 **Nicky: Shit. Will step by tonight at 8. OK?**

 **Piper: Hope she is home by then.**

 **Nicky: She better be.**

 **Piper: See you tonight.**

 **Nicky: Don't worry, kid. I will talk with her. See ya.**

I feel a little relieved. Nicky knows how to handle these things.

 **ALEX' POV**

When I reach the coffeecorner, Ayden is already there. He is sitting at the table in the corner. I pull my shirt right and walk towards him.  
He looks up when I pull the chair in front of him to sit down.

"Well, look who is here already. Do you want something?"

I am a little confused. I'm here because I want something, right?

"I mean, something like coffe, Alex. Jesus Christ."  
"Oh. No, it's fine. Just let's get this over with"

I don't feel comfortable in this place. I just want my stuff and go somewhere alone.

"Are you in a hurry?" He is teasing me.  
"Yes. So if you don't give me this shit right now, I am going and find someone else who doesn't like to chat all the time. I'm here for bussiness Ayden, not for you"

He raises his hands. "Sorry, sorry. Here, your normal packet" he winks while handing me a little bag.  
I roll my eyes and put the stuff in my pocket.  
"Here" I hand him the money and stand up. My hands are shaking and although I really don't want to do it here, I can't wait any longer.  
"I'm going to the.. bathroom" I try to keep my voice normal, but it's hard.  
"Yeah, sure. Enjoy. See you next time, Alex" he slaps my ass and grins.  
I walk to the bathroom as fast as I can.

As soon as the heroin goes in my body, I feel relieved. A flash runs through my body.  
I lean my head against the wall, while removing the belt from my upper-arm. _This was the last time. Now I won't buy heroin or any other drugs anymore._ I try to convince myself the most, I guess.  
When I look at my phone, it's already 5 in the evening. I have a message from Piper.

 **Piper: Please be home at 8, okay?**

I try to clear my mind. Didn't I say I would be home late? Why would I be home at 8 already? The heroin will still be working by then. That's only within three hours.  
My hands are still shaking so I decide to keep it short.

 **Alex: Why?**

It doesn't take long for Piper to answer.

 **Piper: Because we need to talk, Al. I heart you..**

I sigh. Talking isn't really my thing, especially not when it's about me. I prefer fucking. I chuckle and type back.

 **Alex: I prefer fucking. I you promise me to fuck me tonight, I will be home at 8.**

I love autocorrection. I am starting to feel a little numb. All my feelings are sled to the background and I now I know again why I use heroin again. This feeling is amazing. The rush at first and then nothing really matters anymore. I can't even bother me that Piper most probably knows about my drug use. My phone rings again.

 **Piper: See you tonight at 8.**

 **Piper: I heart you, Al.**

 **Alex: I heart you too, Pipes.**

I let my phone slide in the pocket of my jeans again and let myself slide to the ground. There is nothing to feel anymore. Nothing really matters.  
Slowly, my eyes close and dreams come and go. They are weird, like hallucinations. But I don't mind.

 **PIPER'S POV**

I hear a knock on the door and open it. It's Nicky.

"Chapman! Glad to see you again"

A wild haired, blond woman stands in front of my. I haven't seen her in a while but she didn't change a bit.

"Well, kid, since you kinda asked me to come here.. Are you just going to stand there or can I come in?" she snaps me out of my thoughts.  
"Sorry! Come in!" I open the door and let her walk past me.  
"Is Vause home already?" she asks while she flops on the couch.  
I shake my head. "No. I did send her a text she had to be here at 8 and she said she would, but she isn't here yet"  
Nicky sighs. "Fucking Vause"  
I chuckle. Nicky is always so straight forward.  
"Well, do you have something to drink for my while waiting, kid?" she lays her legs on the couch and puts on the TV.  
"Yeah, sure. I will get you someting"  
"Great"

 **ALEX' POV**

I wake up from a loud noise. Someone is banging at a door. I groan and open my eyes. First I'm confused, where the hell am I?  
"Shit" I whisper. I'm still in the bathroom of the coffeecorner.  
There is still someone banging on the door.  
"FUCK OFF" I shout, while helping myself up.  
"Miss, are you okay? You have been in here for a long time, someone warned me" It's a soft, female voice. She is nervous, I guess.  
"Yes I'm okay. Just go away, I will be out of here in a minute"  
"Okay miss. Just tell me if you need something"  
I wait till I am sure she is out of the bathroom, before opening the door. I look horrible. Just when I want to start washing my face, my phone rings. A little confused I reach for it in my pocket.

 **PIPES**

Shit. I look at the clock on my phonescreen: _21.18._ "FUCK" I put my phone in my pocket again, without answering Piper. I run out of the bathroom, through the bar. Some people are staring at me, especially the girl behind the bar. I guess she was the girl who was banging on the door. I don't even care. I'm more than one hour late and I don't think Piper is going to like the excuse that I was in a trafic jam. Without a car.

When I open the door from our appartment I start rambling excuses. "Sorry, Pipes. I'm really sorry, I forgot the time and -" I stop when I see them sitting on the couch. Piper and Nicky.  
"What the fuck is this, Piper? What the fuck is this?" I raise my voice. Piper just looks at me. She tries to keep her face straight, but I can see she is sad. I don't want to do this and I turn around. Just when I want to walk out of the door again, I hear Nicky's voice.  
"Vause, don't you dare walk out of that door kid. We have been waiting for a long time and now we are going to talk"  
I sigh and turn around again.  
"I don't want to talk. There is nothing to talk about, Nichols. I am fine, really"  
"You have been using again, haven't you?"  
I look at my feet. I can't lie to those two people. Piper and Nicky are the only two people who I can't lie to.  
"Look at me, Alex. Have you been using again?"  
I shrug.  
"Is that a yes? Speak up, kid"  
"Yes" My voice cracked for a bit, but they both heard me.

Nicky curses and Piper starts crying.

 _Great job, Alex. You are such a fuckup._


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOT:**

Thank you guys so much! I really like reading your comments and seeing that you like it :)  
I'm sorry this chapter isn't really exciting, it's mostly piper taking care of Alex. Great Alex who is always in control, vulnerable. I always feel like that's something special.  
Please leave a comment what you think!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do NOT own ANY of these characters!

 **PIPER'S POV**

Alex is finally asleep.  
When she came home, I could definitely see she had been doing drugs, but I didn't dare to say. If I was alone with her, I would probably have let her go again, so I'm really glad Nicky was there to help me. Maybe it's because she is used to such situations, considering she was an addict herself, but she is just not afraid to confront Alex with her drugs problem.  
Alex wasn't really amused and still very high from the heroin. I could tell she was tired, since that is what the heroin does after a while. First a rush and after that just feeling numb - exactly where she was looking for.  
Nicky tried to convince Alex to go to rehab again, the clinic she went to a few years ago, but Alex refused. She said she would rather _fuck a guy_ than go to rehab again. Well, that's something. We made an agreement: if she can stay clean tomorrow, we are going to try by ourselves. Nicky knows enough about getting clean and I can support her. At first Alex didn't want to agree, I felt really sad when I realised that is because she don't thinks she can stay clean for one day, but after a while she realised she didn't have a choice. So she agreed. After that, Alex started shivering, so we decided it was enough for the day.

Nicky decided to stay for the night, since it was getting really late and Alex could use the support tomorrow, so she is sleeping on the couch in the livingroom. I went to the bedroom with Alex and we cuddle for a bit.  
"I really just want you to be happy and better, Al. I don't want to be the bad guy"  
"I know, Pipes. I know. I'm just.. tired. It's fine"  
She cried. Alex never cries. We didn't talk anymore and I just hold her, until she finaly fell asleep in my lap, while I was rubbing her back.

Carefully, I put her down on the bed. She is still wearing her normal clothes and I decide to change it to her pyjama, that will be more comfortable for her. Quickly, I remove her shirt and bra and put on the sweatshirt she always wears in bed. When I take off her pants, I notice something falling on the ground. It's way to warm for her joggingpants, so I tuck her in and give a little, soft kiss on her cheek. She moves and mumbles for a bit. I watch her sleep for a moment before I bend over to pick up a little package.  
"Shit" I say, way to loud. Alex moves for a bit again, but she doesn't wake up. I sigh and walk towards the livingroom.

"Nichols? Are you awake?" I whisper, standing by the couch.  
"Fuck, Chapman, I almost slept"  
"Sorry, nevermind" I want to walk away again when she grabs my arm.  
"I'm awake already, kid. So tell me. Hey, what's that in your hand?" she points at the little package I just found in Alex' pocket.  
"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about.. I found this in Alex' pocket while I was putting her into bed"  
"That's fucking heroin, Chapman"  
"I know"  
"It's worse than I thought. I thought she was doing coke or crack or something like that again, jesus. Why didn't she just say so"  
"We didn't ask what she was using, you know. I think we would have sent her to rehab right away, without any agreements"  
"We can still do that, kid. It's never too late"  
"We have to give her a chance, Nicky. She was crying like a little kid, I can't send her away like this"  
"Crying? Vause never cries"  
"I know"  
"Shit man. The incident really got to her"  
"That's not weird, you know. I don't know what exactly happened before I found her, but it sure was hell"  
"We have to get rid of the heroin, kid"  
"She will be so mad"  
"Flush it to the toilet and go back to sleep."  
I nod and walk to the bathroom. _Sorry Alex, it's for your own good._

 **ALEX' POV**

When I wake up, I see Piper is still asleep. It's only 7 in the morning, but I woke up because I _need_ some heroin. I know I am not supposed to use today, but they are both still asleep and I am really scared to rehab cold turkey.  
I remember I still have some stuff from Ayden in the pocket of my jeans, which is on the chair next to the bed. As quiet as possible, I slip out of bed. I reach in the pockets of my jeans, but there is nothing in it.  
"Fuck" I whisper, as I try to remember where I left it. Did I left it in the bathroom at that bar? No, I had it in my pocket on my way home. I am sure of that.  
I put on my glasses as I get on my knees to search for it on the ground, but there is noting there. For a moment I consider to text Ayden again. Piper won't be awake for a few hours, so I have enough time to sneak out the house, get some stuff and be back before she knows I'm gone. But than I remember Nicky in the livingroom. I will never get past her.  
"Fuck" I say out loud, again. I lean against the wall as I feel my body getting shivery. I don't want the withdrawal symptons, but I don't think my body is agreeing with that.

Time slowly passes while I'm sitting there, watching Piper sleep.  
I am feeling nauseous and I am about to throw up, so I want to run to the bathroom, but my legs are shaking and my bones hurt like hell. I vomit all over myself and start to cry.  
I try to get up again, as I feel another wave of nausea coming up, but I fail to. Vomit goes over my body again and I feel so gross. This isn't even the worst stage yet.

"Pipes? Pipes, please wake up" I want to get past my shame, but I can't just yet, so I just whisper. _At least I tried_.  
My head feels like it's spinning around and another wave of nausea comes up. I don't even try to stand up anymore.

 **PIPER'S POV**

I wake up because of a weird noice. It sounds like someone is throwing up. I rub my eyes and look around. A quiet sob comes from the corner of the bedroom. It's Alex.  
As fast as I can, I get out of bed and run towards her. Carfully I put a hand on her shoulder. She is covered in cold sweat and vomit.

"Al? It's me, Piper. What happened? Did you vomit over yourself?"  
She nods. "I don't want you to see me like this" She covers her head in her knees, which she pulled up to her face. With a little force, I put her legs down. She doesn't have the strength to fight it. I hold my breath when I see her body. She is covered in more vomit than I thought. She starts sobbing again when she sees my face seeing her.  
"I'm so sorry, Pipes. I'm so sorry"  
"I know, Al. I know. Come, let's get you cleaned up"  
I don't even mind my hands in her vomit, I just want her to feel better. When I try to lift her up, she shakes her head wildly. "I'm gonna throw up again, Pipes" she says waving with her hands, and before I can reach the bucket on the other side of the room (which stands there because I was too lazy to put it in the garage, after cleaning the windows), she vomits over herself again. I kills me to see her like this. When she is done, she tries to hide her face. She is ashamed, I can see it.  
I cup her head, without caring the slime leaking in my hands. "It's okay, Al. You don't have to be ashamed of yourself. We will get through this." She stares at me, as if I'm some kind of weird alien. I can tell she is confused.  
"Come on, we can try again, right?" She nods slightly and I try to get her up again. Her face changes, caused by pain in her muscles and bones probably. I read that are withdrawal symptons of heroin.

We reach the shower without Alex vomiting again and I help her get off her clothes. Her eyes are slightly closed and she looks so far away.  
"Why are you doing this?" she asks, while sitting on the ground of the shower. I put shampoo in her hair.  
"Because I love you, Al. I will always love you"  
She remains quiet.  
I wash the soap out of her hair and rub her skin with body lotion. She is so amazingly beautiful and I feel so horrible for her feeling this way. Her head hangs down and she mumbles things to herself, which I can't hear.  
When I reach her abdomen, her hips push forward. I look to her face, as she starts to blush. She didn't mean to, but I know it turns her on when I massage her abdomen. I smile to her. "It's okay. I have seen you doing that before. But I really have to put the body lotion on your abdomen too, or else it will smell like vomit the whole day.." She chuckles and nods.  
I put my hands down on her skin again and rub the body lotion on her abdomen, hips and inner thighs. Out of nowhere, I hear a sob. I look at Alex' face and see some tears in her eyes.  
"Alex? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" I stop my rubbing her skin and wait for her to say something.  
She just shakes her head.

 **ALEX'S POV**

I feel really ashamed, being washed by Piper, but I try to ignore it. I know I can't do it myself and I don't want to smell like vomit all day.  
When she reaches my abdomen, my hips push forward withouth warning. Piper looks at me and I start to blush. I didn't mean to, but my body isn't always in control when it comes to sexual things. Piper smiles. "It's okay. I have seen you doing that before. But I really have to put the body lotion on you abdomen too, or else it will smell like vomit the whole day.." I chuckle and nods.  
I try to keep my hips down as she continues, but when she reaches my hips and inner tighs, something else shoots through my head. Two week ago. I don't want to scare Piper away, so I try to hold in my tears as she continues to do what triggers the memory of the most horrible thing ever happened to me.  
Tears build up behind my eyes and before I know, I hear myself sob. Piper immidiatly stopped rubbing my skin and looks at me.  
"Alex? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" I can't answer. I can't tell her, although she can already guess. I shake my head in order to try to say something, but I just can't.  
"Al? Should I stop?"  
I don't want to smell like vomit so I shake my head again. I can handle this. I lean my head against the wall as Piper continues putting body lotion on my body. My bones hurt, my muscles hurt and I can't hold my legs still. I feel horrible and it only has been 18 hours since my last shot of heroin.

 **PIPER'S POV**

When I'm done, I help her up again and put some clothes on her. It only took two minutes for Alex to slap me on my arm and pointing to her mouth.  
"Are you going to throw up again?" She nods and looks down. I try not to give notice to her being ashamed right now and I help her to the toilet where she bends over and throws up. I hold her her hair back and rub her back. When she is done, her legs give up and she collapses on the floor before I can catch her. She leans her head to the wall and I see tears streaming down her cheeks.  
"It's okay, Al. Ssh.. I'm here, I will always be here" I cup her head and wipe away her tears. For the first time since we got in the bathroom, she looks me in the eyes.  
"I love you too, Pipes" she whispers.


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

I am sorry that I didn't update for some time! Do you guys have some advices? What would you like to read?  
Hope you guys like it anyway, please leave a comment!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do NOT own ANY of the characters!

 **ALEX' POV**

I lean on Piper as we walk to the couch. "I'm going to go to the toilet and get a bucket for you, okay? I will be right back" I nod as I sit down on the couch. Piper gives me a blanket and kisses my on my hair before she goes off to the bathroom again.

"So it's heroin again, kid?" Nicky speaks, sitting at a chair.  
I sigh. "Yes, heroin again."  
"And what are you trying to ignore this time?" Nicky looks at me seriously.  
"Nothing!" My voice breaks.  
"Oh cut the crap, Alex. First it was some kind of depression, then it was your mum and now?"  
"Nothing happened, Nichols" I'm starting to feel nauseous again.  
"Fuck, Alex, just talk already. What exactly happened two weeks ago, when you came to my house crying and sobbing?!"  
As soon as I open my mouth, I feel like I'm going to throw up again. I slam my hand to my mouth and all panicking, I look at Nicky.  
"Shit. PIPER, WHERE IS THE FUCKING BUCKET?" she yells. Piper comes running from the bedroom and as soon as she gives me the bucket, I throw up.  
My hair sticks to my mouth and I feel my eyes are all wet.

"I can't do this, Pipes. I really can't."  
It has been already two hours since I'm on the couch and I am only feeling worse. I mostly threw up and I have already taken two showers, because I'm sweating so much - but I'm still so cold - and sometimes I miss the bucket.  
Piper pulls me on her lap and rubs my back. "You can do this, Al. You really can"  
I shrug. "What if I don't want to?" the words tumble out of my mouth. I feel like I lost control over my body.  
"You don't want to go to a rehab centre, right?" she frowns and I shake my head quietly. My head feels heavy and I put it on Piper's shoulder.  
"If you don't throw up on my shoulder, you can stay there. But please say if you are going to vomit" she laughs. I nod, speaking feels impossible.

 **PIPER'S POV**

Alex is laying on my shoulder. She mumbles and I let her as I strike her hair.  
Suddenly, she sits up and I see panic in her eyes.  
"Why are you doing this. Don't touch me." she starts to scream and she stumbles from my lap before I can grab her. As soon as she stands, she falls again and she starts to throw pillows through the livingroom.  
"Alex, Al, look at me" I'm really trying, but she won't look at me. I grab her arm and she starts to scream even louder. "Let me go. LET ME GO." I don't know what to do, so I let go of her and she start to crawl away from the couch.  
For a moment I'm in shock, but then I remember Nicky is in the bathroom.  
"Please don't do something to yourself" I say to her, but I know she isn't listening. She is only sobbing and crying, while she is trying to stand up again. I run towards the bathroom and knock on the door.

"I'm taking a shit here, Chapman, so I guess you don't want to come in" Nicky laughs.  
"Nick, Alex is going crazy or something. She is throwing stuff and I don't know what to do" I try to keep my voice steady.  
"Shit. I'm coming"  
A moment later I hear the toilet flush and the door opens roughly. "Where is she?" Nicky strikes her hand through her wild, blond hair.  
"In the livingroom." I run after Nicky to the livingroom, but Alex isn't there.  
"What the fuck, Chapman. Where the hell is she?"  
I shrug and tears start to flow from my eyes. "She was here, just a minute ago. I swear. Maybe she is in the kitchen?"  
Nicky nods and we walk towards the kitchen, where we hear some noise. When we walk in, Alex is sitting on the ground, all covered in cold sweat and crying.  
"It hurts. It really hurts. Call 911. Call 911. Call 911." she mumbles, bending her head.

Nicky frowns. "Fuck man, she is really going down there"  
"What do you mean?" I ask, concerned.  
"Well, you know. Heroin is some heavy shit you know. You can get really confused and stuff when you stop using" Nicky sits down next to Alex and watch her laying an arm around my girlfriend.  
"Alex? It's me, Nicky. What hurts so badly?" her voice is soft and sweet, unlike other times. I didn't know Nicky had this side.  
"It just hurts. Call 911. Call 911." Alex slams her hands at her tighs and she closes her eyes.  
"Nicky, I think she is having a flashback" I almost whisper, but Nicky hears me.  
"I think so too. I don't think she is this confused caused by withdrawal symptons"  
I shake my head. We look at each other for a moment but Alex snaps us out of it.  
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME AGAIN" she slams her head against the kitchen counter. I can't look at her like this, so I sit next to her.  
"Alex, it's not real. You are in the kitchen with Nicky and me. I'm Piper, your girlfriend. We aren't going to hurt you"  
Slowly, Alex stops moving her body and after a while, she looks at me.  
"What are we doing in the kitchen, Pipes?" her deep voice sounds soft and scared.  
"You were having a real bad flashback, Al. But it's okay" I strike a hair out of her face and she blushes as she looks down.  
"Well, I guess my part here is done. I'm going to finish my shit" Nicky says while she stands up. I smile at her and then she walks out of the kitchen again.

"What happened, Al?" I cup her head and force her to look at me.  
"Nothing, Pipes. I'm fine." She starts to shiver and moving her legs again. "I just can't hold them still" she chuckles.  
I know she is trying to avoid the subject, but I won't let her this time.  
"Alex, what happened two weeks ago? I can guess and ofcourse I practically know already, but you _have_ to speak to me, please."

 _FLASHBACK, PIPER'S POV_

 _I went to the bar with Polly, a ladies night out like we do every month. Polly didn't drink because she still had to breastfeed Finn, but I also didn't drank that much tonight, because I wanted to surprise Alex and come home a little early so we could have some sex again. It has been a while - okay, two days. But that really is a while considering we can do it like... 3 times a day? - and for some reason, I felt really horny tonight.  
"Pol, I'm going to leave early okay? I feel sorry for Alex, sitting home all alone and stuf.." Polly laughs at me. "Yeah, you feel so sorry, so you have to leave your LOVELY, best friend and go home to fuck your raven haired older girlfriend, right?" I blush. "No, that's not true!" I try, but Polly has been my friend for so long, she knows me. "I'm just kidding, Pipes. It's fine, I feel sorry for Pete too... leaving him with Finn, who is asleep by the way.." Polly stares at the sky for a moment and bursts into laughter then. I slap her arm. "Oh come on, Pol. Let's go" We pay our drinks and go outside. It's pretty cold but I decide to walk home anyway, it's good to get the alcohol out of my head. Polly and I hug each other goodbye, since she has to go the other way. "I had fun, Pipes. See you later!" "See you later, Pol"  
I reach in my pocket for my phone and send Alex a text I will be home soon, so she knows I'm on my way. Normally she texts back immediatly, but now I don't get an answer at all. Weird, I think by myself, while walking in the street our apartment is in._

 _When I'm halfway the street, I hear some foodsteps real close. It's midnight and I wonder who it is, but I try not to give notice to it, or else I will get scared. A few feet further, I hear a sob. I stand still and try to listen where the sobbing is coming from, while looking around me.  
"Hello? Is there someone?" I try, hoping I'm just getting all crazy so I can go home quickly.  
I hear a sob again, this time more clear. It's from behind the tree. Slowly, without making too much noise, I walk towards the tree.  
"Is there someone?" I try again, this time hoping the person behind the tree is going to answer.  
He, or she, isn't answering so I step towards the tree a little more.  
"Are you okay?" I look at my feet while waiting for an answer.  
"Piper?" a soft voice says my name and I immediatly recognise it. I jump behind the tree and see Alex, leaning to the tree. She sits with her breasts all naked and her pants are down to her ankles. I see tears on her cheeks. "Fuck, Alex. What happened? Did you get..." I don't want to say the word, but I really have to, in order to know what I should do. "..raped?"  
She just stares at me for a moment and then snaps out of it and grabs her pants. "No, no nothing happened. I just. I'm confused. I don't know what happened. Never mind, this never happened" she rambles, while looking for her bra. I search for it too, but I can't find it.  
"Come, Al, we should go home" Alex nods and I give her my jacket, to cover her upper body. We walk to our apartment in silence. The door is still open.  
"You didn't lock it" I say, automatically. Alex stands still and looks at me. "Are you fucking kidding me?" her voice sounds sharp.  
"I'm sorry, Al. I didn't mean to.. sound rude" I try to lay my hand on her shoulder, but she steps back.  
"Don't touch me. Don't you fucking touch me" I pull my hand back quickly and look at her. She is vulnerable but she doesn't want to.  
"I'm sorry. Let's go inside, okay? You are going to freeze.." I step inside but when I look behind me to see if Alex is coming too, she is gone. _

_It's almost five in the morning when I hear the door slam. I climb out bed as I hear some stumbling and tripping.  
"Let me help you, Alex" I grab her arm before she trips again. She is wearing a shirt which I remember Nicky wearing and she is drunk.  
"Please, let me help you" Alex stops trying to shake me off and nods. I help her to the bedroom and I help her change. I can't help but notice the bruises on her body, but I don't say a word about it.  
I can't and I know Alex can't either right now._


End file.
